Cha Cha Chapina

When conflict arises within us or between us and other individuals when we walk on love’s path, it is disheartening, especially when we cannot easily right our difficulties. In the case of romantic relationships, many people fear getting trapped in a bond that is not working, so they flee at the onset of conflict. Or they self-indulgently create unnecessary conflict as a way to avoid commitment. They flee from love before they feel its grace. Pain may be the threshold they must cross to partake in love’s bliss. Running from the pain, they never know the fullness of love’s pleasure. False notions of love teach us that it is the place where we will feel no pain, where we will be in a state of constant bliss. We have to accept the reality that suffering and pain do not end when we begin to love. In some cases when we are making the slow journey back from lovelessness to love, our suffering may become more intense. As the lyrics of the old-time spirituals testify, ‘Weeping may endure for a night but joy will come in the morning.’ Acceptance of pain is part of loving practice. It enables us to distinguish constructive suffering from self-indulgent hurt. When love’s promise has never been fulfilled in our lives it is perhaps the most difficult practice of love to trust that the passage through the painful abyss leads to paradise.